Positive versus Negative Thinking – Preparing to be Positive


In this article I’d love to start telling you that you can soar with the angels, flit around free like butterflies and go and be anything you want to be, but there are still things that may hold many people back. In many instances it would be like telling a chrysalis in a cocoon to fly, it will never be able to fly while it is still confined in the cocoon.  So I feel  a real need to continue encouraging you to sort yourselves out with the help of what I will be sharing in today’s article, although I understand that not everyone has a problem with the first category that I’m about to mention, I do believe that the vast majority of people can benefit from more understanding of the second category.

In the previous article I strongly suggested that we take ownership of any hurt or trauma that we had picked up as we journeyed through life and that is still affecting us. I said that when we have such issues we should  acknowledge that we have such issues and deal with those issues.

The way I see it there are almost two levels of bondage that are relevant to our discussion;

Firstly, the more serious issues are some of the following and yes some of them are on the seedier side of life, but they need addressing sooner rather than later. They are things such as rape, molestation, divorce – your own and or your parents divorcing, family death, abortion, serious accidents and war to name a few. Even retrenchment and heavy stress may fall into this category. These experiences traumatize and scar you. Some people reach out for help and some attempt to deal with the hurts themselves. Still others go for help and come away not fully healed. I addressed some of the ramifications of these types of issues in my book “Freeing Your Mind”. Issues such as guilt and unforgiveness, and there are also many more such as bitterness and depression for instance. What we need to realize is that these things put one in serious bondage and therefore make it very difficult if not impossible to think positively. Most importantly for me to establish in the short little article is that we can be and should be set free from the bondages that these incidents cause.

So how do we do this? Well we need to get help. The severity of the incident, the amount of trauma experienced and the nature of the actual incident, will determine who would be the best person to help –psychiatrist, psychologist, life coach or counselor.

Secondly then, of course there are the Life Sentences that need dealing with. This is the main topic of my book and if you want to delve deeper into that subject, you are welcome to obtain your own copy through my website. To give you a shortened overview these are sub-conscious sentences that one way or another we have accepted as truth and now rule our lives.  Often, because they are in the sub-conscious no matter how we try we cannot stay on a positive train of thought we can’t.

One of the readers of the book, related a story involving a “Life Sentence” that she had identified and had had ever since she was a little girl of about 8. While shopping for a dress with her great grand-mother they saw a prostitute wearing a red dress. She looked pretty to the child so she asked her great grand-mother if she could have a red dress. Obviously seeing the situation from different eyes she responded with a “No!” because “good women do not wear red”. Well what great grand-mother did not realize is that the little girls’ hair was red! Now the spare of the moment, flippant remark stuck with this little girl into women-hood. She was never quite sure if she was good or bad and consequently wore her red hair cropped short to avoid anyone thinking that she was bad. Isn’t that tragic? Just hearing about that story alone made it worthwhile to have written my book. If people can recognize and be set free from “Life Sentences” like that, and many others it is wonderful and marvelous.

We all have Life Sentences affecting us to a lesser or a greater degree and we need to identify them and eliminate them as soon as we possibly can. The book helps with that. In order to think more positively about yourself and others too, you need to identify as many “Life Sentences” as possible and eliminate the lock-hold they have on you and your thinking

Many people succeed to a measure despite having deep routed stuff affecting them. Some even use them as stepping stones, but I have seen much more success,  much more freedom and much more positivity come with people identifying, acknowledging and dealing with these issues.

There is a wonderful world of adventure waiting for us. Let’s seize and experience it! Let us not let anything hold us back.

Let’s get to a place where it’s easy for us to be positive!


Positive versus Negative Thinking “Digging up old Cows”

fast runnersBefore I get into how to deal with the Life Sentences and baggage that you have found, I feel there is a need to respond to an “argument” that came up regarding Acknowledgement.

In the previous article I said one must first admit that you could have a problem and then take ownership of that problem. Then comes the argument. “I prefer to leave the past in the past. I don’t want to dig up old cows. I am happy now! Why rock the boat?” Well to be honest there are cases when this argument is true, but in my experience they are rare cases.

Let’s stick with the broken leg metaphor that I used in the previous article. Imagine that you broke your leg and did not go to hospital to get it fixed, and it healed on its own. Let’s say you were at least wise enough to not walk on it too much for a while. Then it would heal on its own, because as they say time heals (not really so, but let’s not digress). Okay, so your broken leg has healed pretty much on its own, but and it’s a BIG but, it has healed skew, it’s healed badly and you walk with a limp. Compared to when it was newly broken, it’s not so bad now and you can get around. Now you can at least go out – with a limp, but you can go. You have become used to it.

Now all I am asking you to do is notice that you have a limp. Not only that, I am not asking you to only notice it, but to admit that you have one and even more serious, go back and fix it! Some people’s response is why? Why go back and maybe have it broken again so that you can have it re-set it straight this time? My response to that is; “How well, how fast and how far do you want to run?”


If you are 77, successfully retired, healthy and still happily married to your wife after 58 years like my father and mother, then yes, don’t go looking for the limp. “Don’t bother digging up old cows”, as he says. However, I would venture to suggest that if you find that you need to sort out whatever “limp” you may have, if it bothers you enough, if it is still wreaking havoc in your life, whatever hurt, and whatever damage has been done in the past. Do it. You do need to identify it, acknowledge it and deal with it, even if it’s just to let it go … for good. It doesn’t matter how young we are, or how old we get. If you struggle with a problem, deal with it. If not, you can rejoice in the fact that you have already been set free from them.

Again in the parlance of the metaphor, I want to enable you to run as fast and as far as absolutely possible with no hindrances at all. Another thing to remember is that when we are running around in circles because of a limp, then we are affecting others. When we are complaining or cussing because we can’t run as far as we would like to, we are affecting others. When we don’t want to get out of bed and use our legs at all, because it just too much trouble, we are affecting others. So this getting ourselves “fixed” and whole again is not just about us, it’s about all those around us too. I am not saying that we have to specifically do something just because someone else wants us to. We need to want to do it for ourselves first, be healed and become free of it first. Otherwise, you will never really be free of it anyway.

So let’s get ourselves sorted out. Let’s “Free our Minds” from all the stuff that is holding us back from winning the race as my book says and “Just do it!” as Nike says! If your journey to freedom has not started already, I would like to invite you to start on it today!

Now, some of us need a little help. Some of us have deeper troubles and obstacles to overcome. Remember not only have I written a book related to this subject, if you would like to have a guide on how to deal with baggage of the past and “Life Sentences”, but I also coach and talk one-on-one and in groups about this and related subjects also. And for those of you a little further away. We could even talk over a phone line or Skype. If you would be interested in this please feel free to email me on Roy@RedBowTie.co.za today!

If you have any questions or comments related to this article, or any specific topic you would like me to discuss in future via my blog, please do not hesitate to send me your suggestions and questions. Join with me in the conversation, and even start sharing this information with others if you think they need it to.

Until the next time I write to you again, I leave you with the following:

“Life’s challenges are not supposed to paralyze you; they’re supposed to help you discover who you are.” Bernice Johnson Reagon

Positive versus Negative Thinking (Part 2)

The Importance of AcknowledgmentBroken Arm

The phrase I have always used is; the instant we have something wrong with us physically we rush off to go get it fixed. I mean when we get a deep cut we get it stitched up and when we get a sickness we get medicine. We are quick, often too quick in my opinion, to rush off to the doctor. We don’t limp around with a broken leg, but we do limp around with emotional hurts. If there is one message I would like to shout from the rafters it would be that for Pete’s sake get if fixed!

Don’t, don’t whatever you DON’T go another day without starting the healing process.

Okay so where is the place to start?

Well, I would say its “acknowledgement”. Yes we first need to acknowledge and admit to ourselves that we have a problem. There are however problems that we don’t know that we have. The problems that at this present time we can’t see that we are suffering from. If you can’t see it, then obviously it would not be the place to start. But there are often problems that we are very much aware of and often we nurse these problems like Florence Nightingale would nurse a sick patient. Sometimes we suffer in silence, and sometimes we are quite vocal about it.

Pretty much everyone has a history that includes some kind of hurt or trauma, or some misfortune and I understand that everyone deals with it differently. I’m not saying we don’t get hurt and that we don’t take time to heal. I understand that life is not a walk through the park for everyone or anyone really, sometimes life sucks! Well let’s say that it sucks, until we learn that we have control, but that’s another blog article. So life happens and we definitely need time to mourn, heal and get over it. The question is how do you handle it, how quick do you recover and how do you stop yourself from staying in bondage and carrying baggage with you for the rest of your life. Well as I said start with acknowledging that you have a problem.

Now that I think about it, the place to start might rather be just admitting that it’s possible that you could have a problem, because I know that so many of us don’t admit even to ourselves that we have a problem. Be honest with yourself, you have a problem, you have something that is making you behave or react  in a certain way and it needs fixing. Well preferable it needs eradicating.

In my book Freeing Your Mind I have given a number of examples of things that put you in bondage and of course make you think negatively. These can include guilt and unforgiveness and of course many different Life Sentences.

So, to sum-up this article; first admit that you may have a problem in some areas, then identify them and then most importantly take ownership of them.  It’s your problem! And you need to do whatever it takes to get it sorted out. Freedom from this type of thing will allow you to think much more positively about yourself, others and life in general.  But this is only the start.

In the next installment I will discuss some of the ways one can go about dealing with hurts, bondages and baggage. So join me again soon to continue on this journey. Until then, I leave you with a little inspirational thought.

“Obstacles can’t stop you. Problems can’t stop you. Most of all other people can’t stop you. Only you can stop you.”  Jeffrey Gitomer

Your friend in success,

Positive versus Negative Thinking (Part 1)


There is a little block on Facebook that one fills in to let others know what you are doing. Everyone who has a Facebook account will know exactly what I am referring to. At the moment it asks; “What are you thinking about?” Yesterday I answered the question by writing: “Well only positive stuff! I am successfully keeping any negative thoughts out! Although there are a few yapping at the door, trying to get in!”

The fact that we can control our thoughts still remains one of my greatest revelations in this entire personal growth endeavour. For many people, thinking positively is a luxury, but really it is something we shouldn’t live without! So in actual fact it really is a necessity. I mean many people get through life with very little positive thinking at all, but the question is do they enjoy that life? I would imagine that they don’t, well not as much as they could anyway. People who do not concentrate on the positive things in life, have less fun than people who do! We all want to enjoy life more, don’t we?

Well here’s the solution; take the trouble and the time to direct your thoughts in a positive direction. It might seem tedious to start doing this at first…but make it a habit! As with everything in life, practice makes perfect! We’ve all seen cartoons of a character with a little angel sitting on one of his shoulders and a little devil sitting on the other. If the character gives in to the little devil that is making negative, evil suggestions he inevitably goes off and does some mischief. Similarly, if the little angel wins the battle of the will, the character goes of and performs a good deed. Although this is usually just a bit of fun entertainment, there is a lot of truth to the scene. We are constantly having to make mental choices, whether we realize it or not.

Positive and negative thoughts are vying for attention all the time.

As I mentioned in the Facebook quote, there are little negative thoughts yapping at the door of our minds all the time, and it is our job to keep them out. We have things ‘thrown’ at us on a moment-by-moment basis. We could easily chose to construe many of them as negative. It’s at that very moment that we must choose to think positively! Of course that is sometimes easier said than done, especially if you feel that you have a reason to be miserable or you have some other baggage, bondage or Life Sentence that has pre-programmed you to think in a negative way in this situation automatically. This of course is the very heart of my recently published book; “Freeing Your Mind”. In the book I identify all sorts of things that direct your thinking into a negative path. It’s things that give the red little imaginary devil sitting on your shoulder fuel to taunt you with. Yes, thinking positively is a luxury, but as earlier stated I venture to suggest that it’s a luxury that we can’t do without. In the next few blog articles that I will be submitting, I will address some of these bondages that make us open up the door to those yapping little negative thoughts. We have to keep that door shut! In fact we need deal with many issues that are causing the yapping, and causing the negative thoughts to surface more regularly. To stay with the metaphor, we need to reinforce that door so well that we can’t even hear most of the yapping and the little that we do we can easily ignore.

The problem is this does not happen by itself. It needs work, it needs attention, it needs you to take control of your thinking.

I feel like pleading with you, if you have not already done so, to make a conscious decision today! Decide that you will take control of you thinking from this moment on. Decide that from now on you will do whatever it takes to keep any negativism at bay. Do this and stick to it and you will find that your life will take on far a more positive hue. You will be far happier and have much more fun. In time you will have a whole new different life. If you would like to learn more about this, and harness the power of positive thinking I hope that you will join me and countless others by staying tuned in, and by following my blog in future.

For all the Facebook fans, you are also welcome to connect to my facebook page.

For today I leave you with this quote: “The positive thinker sees the invisible, feels the intangible, and achieves the impossible.” Unknown

Free your mind! A new e-book by Roy Stuart Heeley

Cover final - yellow(A5)

“Freeing Your Mind” focuses on “Identifying Life Sentences and other Bondages.” Roy explains that there are a good number of restrictive thought processes – bondages, that impede our progress in life. We live in a world where setting goals, pursuing our purpose and attracting the life that we desire, are concepts banded about everywhere. Many of us have these desires and have made serious steps in the right direction, but in many cases there seems to be some unseen forces holding us back, some damper on our efforts and spirits. In some areas of our lives it seems that no matter how good the intentions, things just don’t change. This could be and often is due to Life Sentences.

In his anecdotal book, Roy explains and illustrates what these subversive Life Sentences are, how to identify them, together with other bondages that hold you back and he also tells us how to do deal with them.

Roy’s book will give you amazing revelations of yourself and why you do and think the things you do.

If you have struggled to get the Law of Attraction working for you or even if you have never even heard of it, this book will set you free to be more than you ever thought you could be. Do yourself a massive favour, read this book, while making notes from the insights into your thinking and behaviour that it is sure to generate. Apply the instruction on dealing with these revelations that are explained in the book and then get ready to live a happier unrestricted future. You will be far freer to do or be anything you want to be. It will give you control of your life that you never even knew you could have.

Read it and live!

Available Now! See redbowtie.co.za/book

Our Words Are Seeds Planted Into Other People’s Lives


What we say is important.

(Whether we are Christians or not!)

The Bible states that out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks. (Matt. 12:34) We need to change our vocabulary. We need to speak works of life and light. Our talk should always rise to the level of the Word of God.

We Christians should be known as people who speak positively, those who speak the Word of God into situations, those who speak forth words of life.

We should not be like the man who joined a monastery in which the monks were allowed to speak only two words every seven years. After the first seven years had passed, the new initiate met with the abbot who asked him. “Well, what are your two words?”

“Food’s bad,” replied the man, who then went back to spend another seven-year period before once again meeting with his ecclesiastical superior.

“What are your two words now?” asked the clergyman.

“Bed’s hard,” responded the man.

Seven years later – twenty-one years after his initial entry into the monastery – the man met with the abbot for the third and final time.

“And what are your two words this time?” he was asked.

“I quit.”

“Well, I’m not surprised,” answered the disgusted cleric, “all you’ve done since you got here is complain!”

Don’t be like that man; don’t be known as a person whose only words are negative.

If you are a member of the “murmuring grapevine,” you need to resign. In John 6:43 our Lord instructed His disciples, …Murmur not among yourselves. In Philippians 2:15,15 the Apostle Paul exhorted the believers of his day:

Do all things without murmurings and disputings:

That ye may be blameless and harmless, the sons of God, without rebuke, in the midst of a crooked and perverse nation, among whom ye shine as lights in the world.

Contrary to what you may have heard, talk is not cheap. Talk is very expensive. We should know that our words are powerful. What we say affects what we get from others, and what others get from us. When we speak the wrong word, it lessens our ability to see and hear the will of God.


Abundant by nature.


You create money by increasing your value inside you. You do that by reading books and blogs like this. You also do that by remembering your true Self that is in the image and likeness of The Source.

Abundant by nature.

You then experience money by exchanging the value you have built in you. Exchange it with others by providing services, goods and money to others in exchange for their services, goods and money. Remember that people have a unique purpose or ability within them.

They fulfill part or all of this ability or purpose; they create something out of and by it, by using their internal value. Their creations are therefore unique, and the exchange of these unique creations is what brings about the paper or cash money.  Paper or cash money is just a medium of exchange for our uniquely developed internal value. Build wealth by building your inner value. Experience wealth by carrying out your purpose and ability using that built up inner value. It all lies inside you. To build external wealth, build internal value then exercise it. It is that simple. The biggest components of internal value are instantly available to all. These are faith or certainty, imagination, inquiry, and focus. Activity, taking action, translates inner value into outer value, material wealth.

Wealth follows those with wealth consciousness. It is not the other way round. Wealth consciousness comes from states and thoughts of prosperity and wealth full of confidence. It does not allow any moment at all to think poverty thoughts of limitations, doubt and scarcity, nor to have states of fear and disbelief.

from A Happy Pocket Full Of Money by David Cameron Gikandi

Read David’s Last sentence again: It does not allow any moment at all to think poverty. No moment at all! While this is difficult to achieve, one has to work at it until you get there. – it’s the only way!